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I am out to conquer the world! Probably by stealing nuclear, biological, or chemical weapons and staging a coup in a small but militaristic country or some other such brilliant idea that has surely never been in any books or movies. If this interests you, read on! If not, I will have one of my henchmen come by to keep you quiet. We can't have everyone knowing about my secret plans for world domination, now can we?
As is the case with every aspiring super villain, I am successful, well educated, and only slightly creepy as I've yet to earn my distinguishing facial scar in a battle with the hero. As you can tell from this surveillance photo from my CIA dossier (that was captured by a covert operative who infiltrated my secret hideout and I totally did not take myself), I have the look and the style down, though. All I am missing is the right sidekick and we can get to business.
As my sidekick, it is important that you have a good cover identity. A steady job goes a long way to establishing a fake life for quick background checks. If you are the industrious type, your steady job could even be useful as an asset to our mission. Say, for instance, if you were a bartender you could overhear lots of useful information, or if you were a stripper you could seduce the hero and convince him to join us (also, being a stripper is a fantastic excuse to wear sexy underwear, and who doesn't love that?).
My henchmen all wear uniforms, but as my sidekick, HR tends to look the other way and you are allowed much more leeway. Style is definitely encouraged! We're conquering the world here, so you should do your best to look the part. I have a tendency to wear a lot of black, paint my nails to match, and have several piercings, so keep this in mind when going for your evildoing outfit. If we clash, the other members of the Evil Council will make fun of us and probably not let us sit with them in the cafeteria.
So, send me your photo and resume and we'll set up an interview! I look forward to toppling governments and creating global instability with you.
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