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I can't help it. I still think about you every day. Even though its clear it wasn't me you wanted. We were foolish to think we could both have a casual affair. I was foolish when I believed you that, I was everything you ever wanted in a woman. If I were, why are you still with your wife? You weren't trying to do what was right for my marriage. You did what was right for you. I still think about you every day. I'm if you ever get in touch with me, I won't be able to control myself. And I'm happy I told her. I needed you to hate me. I didn't have the to tell you no or stop seeing you. I didn't intentionally plan on things turning out the way they did. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry you hurt me. I'm more sorry that I still think we could've had something great. And I'm sorry that I'm positive ill think of you for the rest of my life. Funny we found what we were looking for in each other, but you passed it by... It doesn't make sense to me. Not at all.
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I was on a Walkie-Talkie with you when you said goodbye. I said, "Whatever makes you the happiest." I didn't even try. I let you go... you asked me why I didn't try and I told you that if you wanted to leave then I wasn't going to stop you. I had always loved you. And then the cards fell apart. The only person I had ever loved with such a passion within my entire life was gone from me. You were my stary night, blue sky morning... your eyes were filled with ocean waves and your hair always seemed to have the scent of spring flowers. I liked your sarcasm and your intelligent conversations. That look you gave me that killed me everytime. I enjoyed the time we spent together. You had my whole heart. You still do. I don't want to get over you. I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than find someone new. You were what I found beautiful in the world. And because of you, everything in the world became beautiful to me. I wake up mornings thinking you're next to me. Funny... How did this happen?
One day you were here with me... we were in love. I had been deeply in love with you. Remember that one time I gave you a bunch of leaves and wild flowers as a present! You looked at me with an odd look in your eyes... ...something like, "Is this guy crazy?!" You seemed to love it though. You gave that laugh of yours with that smile that killed me right then and there.
I remember you better than I can remember this entire day. I can hardly seem to remember with you there?... I'll keep trying forever. ... ...I miss you. If you get a chance, meet me there for a moment. I have so much I need to tell you. I had so much I needed to say. And if you can't find the time to meet me there, I'll leave you this note:
Thank you for giving me all your love then... and thank you for being you. I hope with whatever you are doing that you're the happiest person in the world. I hope your days are filled with magic and all your nights are filled with the soft comforts that should afford someone of your beauty. You had been my Fairy Tale... and I hope you find your happy ending even if it's not with me. Whatever makes you the happiest makes me the happiest. I hope you find adventure in the world and that excitment never becomes a stranger to you. And most of all... I hope you know that you are the most beautiful person in the world. Ich Liebe Dich!
Thank you for giving me this love.
Sincerely,
Me
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