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To a former love,
I still find it difficult to understand how easy you made it look. From one day to another you demonstrated how insignificant I was to you. I can't believe I spent so much of my life with you and now you don't even know or care how I'm doing. I don't know... maybe you do and you have much more self control. I just want to know... how do you do it? Was I that unpleasant to be around? It's funny... I remember we promised to stay friends when you were 14 and I was 15. We refused to believe that such promises were meaningless in practice. Somewhere along the way... it's not that we missed a connection... it's that we damaged it. Finally, it was weak enough for you to just snip it right off, while I held on as if it was invincible. It is not my fault alone, and I'm glad I finally realize it. I sometimes want you to want me... but then I remember how bad that feeling is. I just hope you don't want me back, because it's too late now and I would never want you to feel how I felt.

To a former friend,
Just as sudden as her departure, your detachment was also extremely painful. It wasn't as painful for several reasons, but I'm glad you didn't break any promises. I still don't understand you. It hurts me to think that you were never really my friend, but sometimes that's all I think about. It hurts because I remember sharing moments of true friendship with you. Could you really have just made that up? I never did anything to you to hurt you, but it was as if you were wanting for me to do something so that you could get rid of my friendship as soon as possible. In a way I understand... Why complicate your life more? Stick with the friend who is happiest, right? Stick with the one you have known for longest. It all makes sense to me, and I do not have any grudge against you... but I believed you when you said I was you best friend. I believed you! It's alright though... Whether or not you were genuine with me, now I know who I can trust, and I really do thank you for that.

To the one I'm afraid of loving more,
When I say that I love you, I mean it. Except... when I say I love you, you should know that those three little words have become my greatest fear. There's no turning back now. I have allowed myself to trust you. I am showing you that I am courageous even with such great fear. You became my best friend. You were by my side when I needed someone the most and you still are. I know you're afraid too. I know you're afraid of hurting me, but everything will be fine. Just like you, I will do my best to make sure you are happy. Don't forget all of those conversations about love that we had. Love is work! We did everything backwards, but it's great! I thought I knew a lot about relationships by now, but I haven't stopped learning... and neither will you! It's only the beginning but let's just enjoy the ride even when it gets a little bumpy. I love you so much! Thank you for loving me back, and bumping into me in the strangest way possible. You picked me up even though I looked pathetic and felt disgusting. You gave me a chance and were able to see the real me, while I couldn't escape from myself. You pulled me out of that place I had been stuck in for a long time. Thank you so much, now I can love again and everyday I'm less and less afraid because I know I have someone to help me out. I will also help you no matter what. I will work hard and never quit. <3 <3 <3!!!




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